Q: Do Chinese eat dogs? A: Yes. And cats. Especially on our “Thanks receiving” day. Besides, turkeys are our favorite pets. In China only the most uneducated eat turkeys.

Q: China is becoming strong. Does your government want to take over the world? A: Yes, absolutely. As soon as we become powerful, we will invade Iraq and Afghanistan.

Q: Why doesn’t your government give Tibet back to its monks? A: Because the monks want to help the Seminoles take back Florida.

Q: Are the products made in China very cheap? A: Yes. Were we using slaves, the price would be even cheaper.

Q: Why you are the only kid in your family? A: Because my parents don’t fuck with everybody.

Q: You have 1.4 billion people. Now what do you want to do with it? A: Find a new planet. Kill the native people there, and move in.